Last week we had the first few contestants running in this little fantasy league, the Ultimate Beastmaster, Gaming Edition, based on the Netflix reality show produced by Sylvester Stallone, The Ultimate Beastmaster, where competitors from around the world tackle the most vicious of challenge courses, the Beast.

In our gaming edition, there are no coins, rupees or souls to be won, but there is a certain kind of prestige, where one characters steps out of the ruins of the Beast, confident they are the Ultimate Gaming Beastmaster.

After week 1, new challengers stepped up to challenge the beast: Guybrush Threepwood (Monkey Island), Ezio Auditore da Firenze (Assassin’s Creed), Rufus (Street Fighter), Bob (Tekken), Lara Croft (Tomb Raider, reboot series), Kratos (God of War), Crash Bandicoot (Crash Bandicoot), Nathan Drake (Uncharted), Kirby (Kirby), Jigglypuff (Pokémon), The Prince (Prince of Persia) and The Boss (Saint’s Row). These new contestants, unlike the independents from week 1, come with sponsors: A few are mine, as host of the Ultimate Beastmaster Gaming Edition, while others represent the interests of Drakulus, OverThinkerY, Hurricane Thought Process and GamersUnitedGG Blog

For the competitors, I took note of their skills from across all their videogame appearances, including crossovers such as Super Smash Bros. and other such games, matching these skills to the ones required to best the four levels of The Beast. I also took note of their individual styles, their restrictions and sometimes even clothing. Unlike competitors on The Ultimate Beastmaster, video game competitors bring their own clothing to the table, though they’re forbidden from using the many tools of their trade. Since this episode features the first competitors from fighting and point & click adventure game series, some conversion rules were necessary.

For the Beast, the skills required are:

  • Climbing: Vertical movement while hanging.
  • Ledge Shimmying: Horizontal movement while hanging.
  • Running.
  • Jumping.

In addition to this, there are advanced skills such as Wall Climbing and Rope Swinging which grant the competitors an edge.

Below is an example of a skill set:

Kirby Skill Set: Running, Jumping, Climbing, Ledge Shimmying. Kirby Restrictions: Very small frame, lightweight. Kirby advantages: Puffing, the ability to stay afloat with a series of jet-like expulsions of air.

Having this in mind, I ran Kirby and his competitors through the course, noting the obstacles completed, the ones failed, whether they’d go for point thrusters or not and noting the final results. Below is an example of this, Kirby’s Level 1 run:

Kirby – Level 1:

Kirby waddles up Bite Force, building up speed to a dash before jumping and puffing up to the first gear of the Grinder, a few puffs later and he’s through the challenge, making sure to land on each gear to catch his breath.

On Faceplant, much like Mario last week, Kirby needs to hold on the side since his small frame won’t let him hold the usual position. As it tilts forward, Kirby jumps and puffs to the first Energy Coil. Confident in his puffing, Kirby moves to the point thruster coil and back. It’s easy and certain but lacks speed. Crossing the Energy Coils, Kirby makes it to the deadbolts, which he crosses by hanging on each and puffing to the adjacent one. He takes the point thruster as well.

But Kirby’s lack of speed bites him in the pink rear. While on the last deadbolt, time runs out for him.

Points for Level 1: 100 Time Taken (relevant for ties) 6 minutes.

For the sake of brevity, considering the amount of competitors going through the levels, below are the rankings at the end of each level. Twelve (12) competitors start the competitions, then the top eight (8) make it to Level 2. After that it’s the top five (5) who make it to level 3 and the last two then advance to Level 4.

If you wish to know how a specific character’s run went to understand their score, let me know and I’ll relate their experience in the comments.

Level 1 – Max Points 115 – Rankings. Ties broken by faster times.

  1. Lara Croft (New) – 115 points.
  2. The Prince – 115 points.
  3. Ezio – 115 points.
  4. Kratos – 115 points.
  5. Kirby – 100 points.
  6. Nathan – 100 points.
  7. Jigglypuff – 100 points.
  8. Crash – 95 points.
  9. The Boss – 90 points.
  10. Rufus – 85 points.
  11. Bob – 80 points.
  12. Guybrush – 65 points.

Level 2 – Max Points 155 – Rankings. Ties broken by faster times. Scores are cumulative.

  1. Kratos – 260 points.
  2. Lara – 260 points.
  3. The Prince – 260 points.
  4. Kirby – 255 points.
  5. Ezio 250 points.
  6. Crash Bandicoot – 240 points.
  7. Nathan – 220 points.
  8. Jigglypuff – 125 points

Level 3 – Max Points 155 – Rankings. Ties broken by faster times. Scores are cumulative.

  1. Lara Croft (Reboot) – 415 points.
  2. Kirby – 400 points.
  3. Kratos – 395 points.
  4. The Prince – 385 points.
  5. Ezio – 340 points.

Level 4 – Winner – Lara Croft (Reboot)

The last level saw the new generation of Tomb Raiding, the survivor Lara Croft facing the innocent and cute pink glutton, Kirby. Kirby’s puffing and morphing abilities gave him an edge on the earlier levels, allowing him to recover and build up a lead over the rest of the competitors, using every foothold, handhold and ledge to gather his breath to continue puffing. Sadly for him, the climbing focus for Level 4 with a general lack of resting spots was perfect for Lara, her experiences preparing her for such a stage, while Kirby was left in the dust, panting and heaving, unable to inhale enough to puff his way up the ventilator, the last challenge of Level 4.

And so with the press of the 200 point thruster at the top of the ventilator, the new Lara Croft joins the ranks of the Beastmasters!

That’s it for this week then, we’ll see you on the next edition of The Ultimate Beastmaster – Gaming Edition!

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