I’ve had this post in my head for a while now, ever since a friend of mine told me, a few weeks ago, that I should change the way I act, how I talk, basically WHO I AM, because, according to him “I make a terrible first impression and those who don’t know me think I’m a dick”…
You know what I say to that? “Fine, let them”
I’d rather be happy with who I am and even if people dislike me for it than act differently just to earn their affections, just to fit in.
What people think about you shouldn’t matter more than what you think about yourself. Having people love you is less important than loving yourself.
Someone really wise said once that if you want people to love you, you first need to love yourself. If you can’t look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see, don’t expect anyone else to do it.
As usual, I’m getting sidetracked. We’re talking about attitudes and first impressions.
First impressions suck, there I’ve said what we’re all thinking. First impressions will never reveal the depths of a person, and anyone who trusts first impressions is an idiot, be it good or bad. You need further exposure before knowing if you like/dislike someone. I know “exposure” makes it sound like an illness, like a bug, but it works, you need to be around it to know if it’s a bug you wouldn’t mind carrying with you. In technology terminology, you need the trial period to get to know all the features before deciding if you’re getting the full version.
On reading this, you won’t be surprised by this next bit: I don’t believe in love at first sight. There’s no such thing, you can’t love someone you haven’t interacted with on several occasions, and that’s what dating’s for. There is attraction at first sight, aka lust at first sight. That one’s proven; the first one not so much.
But back to where we were. There are people like me who are who they are no matter who they’re with, never shying away, always proud of who and what they are, which I think is awesome. Then there are those who just change who they are when they’re meeting someone for the first time, which is the norm, it’s how much of the world works. It sucks, but those people think first impressions are everything. I don’t share that point of view, as I’ve said before. Then there’s the last group, these guys and gals change who they are depending on who they’re with, as if their entire lives were an endless parade of Masquerade Balls, and they just change the mask from one ball to the next. These people, cut them out, ASAP, get rid of them.
There are, of course, some first impressions that do matter, like a job interview, where despite being base on your skills, “who you are” always becomes a factor. On these, my policy’s always been to act as neutral as possible, keeping things to business and not on the personal stuff, let them know who and what I am once I’m there from 9 to 5 and let them deal with it if they don’t like it.
But on the personal side, don’t worry about people not liking you on the first “Hello”, it doesn’t matter, they’ll probably like you on the 2nd or 3rd. And even if they don’t, don’t sweat it.
There are 6 billion and change people on this big rock of ours, there’s bound to be someone just like you. And if you already have a few, those who’ve gone past the first impression and are now your friends? Keep ‘em close, really close.
I’ve got mine, so I don’t worry about those who don’t like me.
I like myself, and if they don’t, well, that’s their loss.
Be happy with who you are and don’t let anyone change you just to fit in, and don’t change yourself for the same reason. That is, unless you’re a psychopath who enjoys burning puppies and eating babies. If that’s the case, pay attention to them and not the voices inside and change, for crying out loud, change, you’ll make the world a happier place.
Thank you all for your time and patience.
One thought on “First Impressions”
First impression can compress a lot of different elements… I agree with you in most of what you wrote. I just want to add that a little something, when the instinct is involved in those firsts impressions that’s other thing. Some people can perceive “something good or bad or whatever” about other person, and I don’t know why, but it does not fail. So, some first impressions are valuable I think, they come untainted by judgment, knowledge, etc. So far, good post.